Refuge Renewal

  "The Earth is what we all have in common" Wendell Berry Like most everyone I know I've been dismayed and heartbroken by the events taking place in the Middle East. This, and what I see as preference to stand behind an emotionally protective firewall of certainty. I've been left with so many questions some of which I will try to articulate here. What does trying to stay open in times like this actually ask of us?   Stephen Jenkinson, on a call with 1200 Israelis immediately post the Hamas attack, said that the struggle of seeing how closed our hearts are and wishing for them to be open is perhaps what an open heart looks like at such times. So perhaps the task isn't quite as big as we think. We struggle against the forces of our fear and hate and do so for a better day. A day which may not arrive or we may not live to see. How willing are we to meet that ask on its own terms?   These events, or events like these, are only going to become more common as our cultur...

Nancy continues to channel incandescent haiku pith observations, reflections, announcements, wisdoms, revelations, offerings. I continue to stand agog, peering cautiously and curiously down into the dark, deep well of inspiration into which she is able to dip again and again, each time bringing to the surface soul quenching, life giving sustenance. HELLOOOOOOOOOO down there??!! Power brokers feast. Torn lives pure collateral. Planet Earth karma Survival tactic capable to kill others. We are not immune Grief and gratitude, unlikely trance companions. My familiar angst My golden Guru bright as sun's inspiration, warm wisdom fuels me Our minds tossed and turned with no familiar comfort Let's sit in silence Grief takes many forms let it work you to the core Seed of compassion Quiet invasion paragliders everywhere floating in sky joy Where is the justice? Ideal aspiration, loving kindness prayers Cloudy skies today now is the time to practice, discover brilliance Same same everywher...

Entitled: Lessons of Mourning " Dear Friends, The violence of the last weeks, the horrors of the Hamas attacks on Israel, and the immediate response of the Israeli army, the siege and annihilation of Gaza, has crushed the hearts of all people whose being is tied up in that place, we are trembling in our bones, it is hard to see, to feel, to eat, sleep, it is difficult to breathe, knowing human beings choose to do this to one another. I wonder what it would have been like for the Israeli army to pause, after the horrific attacks of October 7th. Had the army stopped, collected the dead in silence, tended to the wounded, the traumatized, those whose beloveds were murdered, in silence, took time to gather the names of the kidnapped, gathered to mourn and attend burials, before sending all of the soldiers to the front. How would that have changed the experience of those horrific events, for Israelis, for Jews, for justice fighters the world over? I imagine the pain, s...

 Nancy's down with a change-of-season cold, headache, sore throat, stuffed head, some achiness, etc. Got some herbs from Ani (nun) Yeshi Wangmo,  the Tibetan medicine doc (Emgee-la), boiled them down with the help of Lama Lee's 2 burner propane stove in his apartment here (he's recovering himself from a few days of being sick), and she's staying in bed to rest and stay warm. Yesterday was the most miserable weather day so far, heavy rains, cloudy and cold all day and night, the first foreshadowing of the damp cold days to come, and we'll be here for much of it in November if things shape up the way they typically do. Yuk. My absolutely least  favorite weather conditions, and I expect my ageing body to let me know in various ways about its specific unhappiness in this regard. Ani Yeshe Wangmo, Emgee-la Sudden weather change me a tender seed, exposed Be safe, take cover BUT........Lama Lee, fully understanding all of this at age 82, gave us an electric heater, which h...

No separation micro and macro are one your pain is my pain Am I different here? Maybe more detached, less caught more space to be me So many perspectives Your view, my view, the view open sky teaching Horrific war news, will suffering never end? Crushed hearts find a way So many hearts break misguided by fear, Trust is elusive A child's cry haunts me I wait for the soothing voice Tender refuge: love Trusting the flow here unfolding nature with heart Birds soar with vast grace Misunderstanding Crossed wires or just my mind? Fruit falls to the ground My fluid routine seeking meaning in structure Watching my mind stream Ordinary love taste of sweet chai on my tongue nothing else, just this Ordinary life, too much thinking mucks it up Pause and feel your feet Grief lives deep inside no valid denial now,  human destiny Interconnection in Nature we find refuge death of solid self If grief had a face I would kiss it tenderly we crave to be seen  

  82 years old, North Island New Zealander, orphan raised in a Catholic orphanage, adopted age 11, 13 year military career, some of which living among the headhunting Pygmies of Borneo, 20 year business career owning and running an upscale limousine service with ex-army buddies as drivers, married and divorced from an indigenous Maori woman, 1 son and 1 daughter whom he raised alone as their mom up and left when they were quite young (drugs, alcohol, trauma), mysteriously attracted to Tibetan Buddhism around age 52. Why? he asks the Lama at the local monastery in Aukland. "You've come here to learn how to die" he's told. Ok then.  Roof over our heads plenty of chai to warm us Dear community Took refuge and did the traditional 3 year, 3 month retreat there, hence officially a Lama, but NOT, he's quick to affirm, a teacher. He's still learning his religion himself. Lee is a lovely man, worldly, with a life in said world lived to the full, been through the mill a...

A few days ago now we both woke up and after a while expressed to each other our hitherto unspoken yet identical questions about why we're here, in India, at Stupa Guest House, at Sherabling. Seems like we're both thinking and wondering the same thing.   What is our purpose? We are displaced, loose threads here yet our hearts belong Of course Nancy is here for Situ Rinpoche's formal teachings in late November, and Mingyur Rinpoche's teachings before that, in early November. But beyond that, it seems, we've both been wondering. The journey to get here this year seemed more difficult, to both of us. The adjustment perhaps more challenging as well, although it's not been two weeks yet, and that's always my turn around point for making the shift. So Nancy declared that we should take the day to have some fun. Uh......what would that mean? So an impromptu plan was formulated to head into Bir. A sort of "get out of Dodge" scenario. Visit the natural chem...

These last three days seem like they've been pretty full, while also leaving loads of time to do nothing at all, or waste time and energy watching Netflix old tv series that only contribute to stress and distress, or reading, sometimes something beautifully written but too disturbing to stay with, and sometimes something merely entertaining. I'm still in the adjustment period of leaving the US and being in India, which I may tend to forget actually requires considerable doing, in spite of the fact that we've been doing it now for some 7 years (excluding covid time). It's only been just over a week at Sherabling, and my historical re-orientation time is about 2 weeks all told. It's not only the physical adjustment, which is still in process (diet, digestion, elimination, sleep, grounding ) but also the emotional shift. It's all familiar, and it's all perhaps getting harder, in Nancy's opinion because of the detox required from American craziness, which cr...

Nancy's getting her groove back, finding the flow again, tapping into the inspired stream of her haiku mind/heart, boiling it all down to essentials, not wasting words. May these examples touch and enliven your own wellspring of living this full life.                                        Sunrise over mountain, our balcony's gift of morning     Wake up and relax  surrender to the unknowns.  Ego takes the reigns   Our carbon footprint  flying across the planet,  way out of balance   What is the meaning?  Grief stays in my lap these days,  rain clouds or fog?   A day to make peace  releasing the worry mind.  Ripe fruit on the ground   The way of the world:  vast chaos and confusion.  Life forms' harmony   Pine tree crickets hum  breaking the afternoon silence,  lulling me to sleep   B...

I'm hoping this will be a part of my regular routine here. When I can I'm up and sitting out on our balcony by 530am, in time to be with the transition from night to day. By 8 or 830 I like to be out walking. So far it's been cool enough to warrant my heavier denim "shirt jacket", which I'll be removing on the way back down the hill. I might meet some monkeys along the way, or not. I always pass by the little temple along the road, where I stop, prostrate, sometimes leave a small money offering, and give thanks. Then it's continuing up the road......... to the one mile mark...... and back down...... Nancy's joined me once so far, but given what I know about her rhythms and routines, I expect this will be my solitary, somewhat vigorous morning meditation. In dreamlike refuge I wait for signs to anchor Not quite here, nor there We're both feeling not quite here yet, or altogether grounded. T...

To Stupa Guest House, that is. To the mandala that is Sherabling. We're in the sacred space, and we're pretty exhausted. Almost three days to get here from Los Angeles, a total of about 19 or 20 air hours, three flights, sitting, waiting, rushing, additional hours riding in cars, crossing 12 hours of time zones.........and I'm feeling my ageing body more acutely as well. I know I'll recover and rebalance and reorient in the next few days, my bodily systems and functions adjusting to the upside down flip of things; starting to get some excercise by taking my morning 2 mile walk up and down the hills, resting, absorbing the substance of where we now are. Grace and gratitude, my functional mantra at this stage of my life. We're both very happy, and very grateful to be here again, and we're looking forward to allowing the reality of this place to sink in, and to take us over. Ahhhhhhhhh. That was yesterday upon our arrival. This morning, after a very early reti...

So we're here, at our Delhi hotel, it's 715am on 1 October. It was an adventure. The plane left LAX 3 hours late, so we figured we'd probably miss our connection in Istanbul. The pilot must have been pushing the throttle though, because we arrived in about an hour and a half less time than scheduled. Searching the Departure board after de-planing we could see our Delhi flight listed with the note: go to gate, meaning the plane hadn't yet left. Where is my body At 40,000 feet high? Grounding in prayer helps. Now, where was Gate F18? Turns out it was at least a mile power walk........no exaggeration.....from where we were, so that's what we did. And there were the lines of people waiting to board. We got our aerobic workout for the day, made our flight and arrived on time in Delhi a couple + hours ago.......a bit the worse for wear. Our arranged for car picked us up as planned, and got us safely to Wangdhen House in Majnukatilla, where we're resting in the lobby a...